Wednesday, April 26, 2017

26 April 2017 (Wednesday)

I can't decide if today was a good day or a bad day. On the plus side, I slept until 5 with only a minimum of awake time last night, although at 2 am I started in on an anxiety attack (or whatever) but tried a disciplined set of helpful phrases over and over again plus 2x1/4 ambien and I was right out again. So, adequate sleep. I woke up with the phrase "Discipline is the key" as regards various things. Which is true.

Really good workout, too. I did mostly upper body but seeing as I'm out in the field tomorrow and not in the gym I decided to do leg presses again today. Had to kick a young lady off of it, too.

Okay, not really, I asked if I could work in and she said she only had one more set. I did the full 618 lbs. Yes, I recalculated and found that I had it wrong before, I've been doing 618 rather than 608. Hence, only 32 to go by next Thursday. Go me.

Came home, piddled around, then found that I'd (probably) left my Coptic notebook at Cascadia, so I had to drive over there to get that before going to UVil to meet Engi to go over ODK forms. Irritated me. I got there earlier so I set up shop at a table and had my computer and the pad all set out and then I got up to get something and the table which was unbalanced lurched to one side and dumped a bunch of my mocha all over the pad and my computer. Fortunately, the laptop's lid was closed. I don't know what I said but a small amount of foul language may have escaped my mouth. So I cleaned all that up and moved to another table just in time for her to arrive. I checked the table for stability first.

Anyway, meeting went well and we got her all set up on it. We finished a little before noon and then went to the Chipotle and had lunch. Nice visiting with her, too.

I came home and decided to do a second coat on the outside of the cabinets so I did that; good thing, too, because some had some paint already chipped off. Grrr. I went back to UVil because I needed some supplies for tomorrow and decided I needed a break so sat in the SBux for a bit and unwound. And it was raining. Came home (again) and called the floor people and immediately couldn't find my stupid airline credit card which ticked me off. So I used the other one and then promptly found it. Grrrr.

Fed squirrels, got field gear ready, made dinner, walked at NGate because it was raining.

Last night I seriously asked myself What Do I Have To Live For? Couldn't come up with a good answer. At least not for myself anyway. I need to look after my mom until she dies, look after the cats until they die, make the Spousal Unit reasonably happy, contribute to the well being of others, etc.

Can't think of a thing for me though.

I don't necessarily consider that a bad thing.

I also include for the benefit of posterity a communication I sent to my physician:

The buspirone doesn't seem to be doing anything (leastways, I experimented going off of it again and it's not made any difference). A friend of mine mentioned Trazodone and my in-depth researches in the International Journal of Google Medicine made it seem like something to have a go with.
I've run it by the voices in my head and all seem to be in agreement. 

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