Saturday, December 17, 2016

17 December 2016 (Saturday)

Today was. . . . .up and down. Slept not too well again. I woke up at 3:30 and was wide awake and could have sworn it must have been after 4:30 but the furnace hadn't kicked on yet. I took 1/4 ambien and went back to sleep for probably 45 minutes. Meh. Went out for breakfast. I decided to go to the gym, the 24 Hour Fitness by NGate so I would know my way around for early Monday morning. Kinda crowded, much more so than the IMA on a Saturday morning. I did a couple of leg things and then rode the bike really, really hard for 40 minutes. Sweated profusely. Good workout. Went to NGate and a couple of estate sales. Spousal Unit bought a glass bowl.

Came home and was sad. Broke down a couple of times, even with the Spousal Unit around. Mostly from yesterday when I showed little emotion, but also the usual stuff. . .but also. We ate at NGate and were facing a table with several older 'developmentally challenged' people. I felt so. . .I don't know, compassion for them. I've done that more the last few years, but this time it was particularly intense. I wanted to go to the people with them and just tell them they were my heroes for caring for them. And it made me feel so bad that for most of my life I had ignored or not thought much of them or were even annoyed by them. . . or fearful, in a way. That's part of what set me off this afternoon.

Neither one of us are particularly spirited for the holidays. I may suggest we just mostly ignore it, get our iPhones and maybe a token gift and be done with it. 

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