Thursday, October 13, 2016

13 October 2016 (Thursday)

Funny day. Slept mostly badly, as usual. Workout was okay, although when I woke up (ca. 3:45 again) my back hurt like the dickens.

I went to the doctor today and. . . .got a prescription. For a prozac-type substance. I decided to post this here in order to track things for future reference. I've been mulling this over for probably 4-5 years, but tried to get past it without chemical means first. It's not really 'depression' or perhaps not even generalized 'anxiety' that much; it's sleeping. I'm sick of waking up in the middle of the night and worrying like crazy. The past few weeks have little to do with going for it now either. I'm okay being sad. As I've written earlier, it's not such a bad thing, sadness. It makes one feel alive; and I've in a way felt more alive recently than I have in years. And it can be helpful; I'm changing things I want to change and need to change.

I admit I worry that if this stuff works it will get rid of all that. I don't really want that. I need it to change. I'm hoping it will just act something like noise-cancelling headphones and just filter out some of the overactive noise. Let's hope anyway. I'll try to keep track of any side effects here. I start on it tomorrow morning.

Otherwise, I went there, went to the UDist to get a new copy of Parallels for Mac (runs Winblows) because my old one doesn't work with the new OS anymore, and had lunch at Pagliacci with a whole mess of kids. Came home, worked some, Spousal Unit came home, went to doctor, too, and then I went to UVil to get my prescription and had some chocolate milk at the SBux for a bit. Worked more.

Spousal Unit snuck onto my iPad and saw a goofy thing I sent to Shannon (my anonymous romance-writer friend) and freaked out. She does that. If I talk about some other female too much, it's obvious I want to have sex with her; if I don't say anything and then she finds out, I'm obviously keeping secrets and I want to have sex with her.

Well, she did get referred to a gyno because the doctor found her cervix a little funny. But whatever. She's always been like this, it'll blow over. Plus, the stuff I care about these days is rather limited and her getting all jealous isn't one of those things.

Rained all day. Still raining, heavily. 

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