Sunday, August 31, 2014

31 August 2014 (Sunday)

On this day in 1952 (Sunday):
Went to Sunday School at the [Morgarsome] church this morning. About 11:30 call Troy's Harold and I left in my Plymouth to go to Bolder[Cors] to meet the [Barbit Cohurch] branch [wh***] had gone up [earshine]. Stay until about 2:30. Dad and I came back and saw the last half of the [unk]. Went to church at the Fairgrounds with Carl at about 7:30. Ray and Lola Grandma and dad [unk] went to the meeting. $.50 gas Spent $.50. Monthly spending $12.15. TOTAL SPENDINGS FROM JAN $213.25.
Very small writing today, that's why so much of it is questionable.

Okay day today. I slept reasonably okay although when I moved to the TV room I had a reasonably sized anxiety attack and ended up on the floor the rest of the night. And got a stiff neck from it, too. But I slept until 5. Don't remember what I watched on TV from then until 6:30 or so. We had waffles for breakfast, with buttermilk. We learned a few years ago that using buttermilk and making waffles or pancakes from scratch is WAY better than a box of mix, and actually better than restaurant ones (mostly; the nutty ones at the Lodge are awesome). Didn't go to Mass. Heck, I mostly sat around all morning watching TV. Bad me. Oh well.

We left for Gig Harbor and the in-laws around 11, uneventful trip down. Had a Blizzard at the local Dairy Queen. This one burned a few years ago but they happily rebuilt it into a 1950s themed place. Got a bunch of chicken and then headed to the house. We wired in a new thermostat, which was interesting. the old one had four bulbs with mercury in them, which I found fascinating. The new one seemed to go in okay, although the wiring was confusing and it didn't seem to work, as in turning the furnace on. Then again, I think maybe the heat exchanger may have been kicking in instead? I dunno. Mostly I sat around all day. Which is what I do. Peter, the . . . brother-in-law-in-law?. . .likes talking about sports while watching, but I don't talk that much. I was polite. Well, I was tired, too. Ate around 4. Left around 6:30.

The nephew in law said he loved me but I didn't really respond. OKAY? I DIDN'T RESPOND. FOR CHRIST'S SAKE I BARELY EVEN SAY THAT TO MY OWN SPOUSAL UNIT, OKAY??!!

No, I don't use those words very often. We never did that in our family growing up, so we (my immediate family) don't do it much. My mom started saying it more during the last 15 years or so, but I still don't. I dunno, I guess I always thought of it as kind of phony expressions, "actions speak louder than words", etc. I only rarely hug anyone either (save for the Spousal Unit), and never other men. We learned a certain amount of stoicism and standoffishness from an early age.

So, there you go. Another Sunday down. 

Saturday, August 30, 2014

30 August 2014 (Saturday)

On this day in 1952 (Saturday):
Started to work picking pears about 7:30 but only picked half a day and quit. Lola and Ray came over today. Went to church at the Fairgrounds until 8:30 and then I had to go to work. Saw Carl at the dance and drove around town after. Pop $.10 [car letters] $.15 Spent $.25.
Not sure what he was "working" at in the evening, probably something to do with the dance.

Today was okay. I slept until 5 unassisted (it's the weekend). We went to Burgermaster for bfast and it wasn't all that great. The guy behind the counter totally screwed up the Spousal Unit's order and he acted like one of those caricature drugged-out goofballs. Probably the first really not good experience we've had there, which I guess is pretty good considering.

I painted the drop-down ceiling in the basement, finishing that room finally. Went okay I guess. Tried to do the strips by the windows but that didn't go well. And when I put them back in this evening they didn't want to fit properly, so I may replace them anyway. We drove up to almost Bothell on Lake City/Bothell Way and had lunch at a Pagliacci up there. After a quick stop at home we went to see Ghostbusters in the theater. Yes! Two movies in one week. Unheard of.

There weren't that many people there, which kind of surprised me, but it wasn't well publicized. You could really tell the quality difference between the old movie and new ones. The previews were clear and sharp and Ghostbusters looked very grainy. The first time I saw it was at the Strand on the Capitol Square in Madison, WI back in 1984 when it was released. It was a stormy night, I remember that. I went with Tim Strait and perhaps someone else. Laurie was probably working that night.

We went to the 2:25 show and got home about 4:40. Leftovers. I decided to just put the basement back together in lieu of walking. Took quite a while, too. I vacuumed and then moved all the furniture and junk back to where it was supposed to be. Also rained some today.

I was actually thinking more and more about whether I should totally move on from the UW or not. I also had a moment of panic when I thought about how I would grow old if I end up working as pathetically little as I have been for a long time. I don't want to say I've gotten used to not working full time, but it may be. Leastways, I've gotten used to working irregularly. Admittedly, there is a lot that I could get done around the house with my schedule and that contributes to the family bottom line -- things get done sooner and we don't always have to hire someone to do any of it. There is that fear of going back totally full time, of course. . . . .fear that I wouldn't have time to work out properly every day, fear that I would do no publishable research (although I'm starting to feel that it might be overrated and that earning a good living and contributing in other ways may just be more fulfilling than having my name in print), fear of. . . .I guess fear of getting and acting old, I guess.

I think there are many things I may have to let go of in the near future. I don't know what. 

Friday, August 29, 2014

29 August 2014 (Friday)

On this day in 1952 (Friday):
Started picking pears at 8:00 this morning. Drove up by Highland and[sic] noon. Carl and I went to church at the Fairgrounds this evening and drove around a while afterwards. 
Up and down day today. I woke up at 3:45 or thereabouts and nerve went back to sleep so I was tired all day, more or less. Had a really good workout though, due of course to the pre-alarm drinking. When I got back I immediately set to work on the proposal I have been tasked with, and straightened out a few things. I think it should work out getting it done Tuesday. Walked up to SBux. When I got back I did a little more work and then caught the bus downtown at around 10. I got a scone for lunch at 11:30, met with Michael at 12:25 (supposed to be 12). Kind of . . . an odd meeting. He wants to rewrite much of the paper himself, but also changed up a lot of the analysis AGAIN so I'm kind of happy letting him just go ahead and do it. What I'll do is make up my best final effort and let him fix it up however he likes. We also talked about doing HPV work since the alcohol stuff is kind of dead in the water for the time being, money wise. I'm kind of glad to be going back to that since it's something I know and am, surprisingly, interested in still. He's got a whole program funded around it so there's at least something in place.

So. . . .I guess it's okay. I have archaeology work, which I enjoy, and research work for which I have a track record and there is funding in place, at least generally.

Hence, it shall make no difference in my sleeping behavior. Heh.

I was thinking a lot this morning -- mostly while I was walking into, utilizing, and walking out of -- the IMA that (and I've probably expressed this here before) perhaps I've been hanging on to the UW for too long, trying to do research and keeping my affiliate status, etc., just so I can hang on to that feeling of being a student. Is there something to that? Yeah, I admit that. I like being around the "young people" and being able to use the library and all that stuff. And, as I've related here, school was one of the things that probably helped me deal with anxiety. A refuge, in a way, but not from "real life" except to the extent that it gave me something to occupy my anxiety-riven attention. I do wonder, knowing what I know now about all that, if I just ditched it and made a clean break if I could devote myself to archaeology or something else. "Let it go" as they say. And in truth, in the past I've been very anxious when I've thought about leaving it behind (I did for a couple of years between 2001-3, btw). But I do have practical reasons. I mean, using the library is worth something, and the IMA is a fabulous facility. And I do want to do some form of research and this is probably the best place to at least network. But I think now I feel like I'm not tied to it for dear life. 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

28 August 2014 (Thursday)

On this day in 1952 (Thursday):
Went picking at 7:00 again this morning. Picked 64 boxes. Drove up to Highland at noon time. Went to the dentist about 5:30 to get my [testly] looked at. Picked Barbara up down town and took her home.
I just got back from a little get-together at Cascadia. I had suggested it because a batch of beer was done and I need the bottles back. Went okay. Beer turned out pretty well, although one bottle was a bit cloudy. Otherwise they all had good carbonation and were nice and clear. Alcohol was probably more than the 2% I measured.

Otherwise, I had a good workout, slept pretty well. I talked with Stewart for a while on the cycles and he's kind of a big shot with the kidney research center. Decent guy really. Another Badger was down there, too.

I went to Cascadia for much of the day and got a proposal to work on, due next Wednesday. The map they gave us is screwy with some roads obviously mislabeled. I'll try to bang it out Tuesday.

College football started today!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

27 August 2014 (Wednesday)

On this day in 1952 (Wednesday):
Carl came down about 7:00 and we went pear picking again this morning picked 40 boxes. Got my Plymouth back from being completely rebuilt. Cost $230. Drove around town with Carl tonight getting it broke in. [Walked] it and put something on it [I] tonight. Gas $1.00. Spent $1.00.
Well, I guess he spent more than $1. . . .

Actually, $230 would be around $2k today. That's actually about right for an engine rebuild, I think, on a simple engine.

Speaking of which, Reyna the former neighbor girl got a 1978 Ford step-side pickup! AWESOME. They were outside when we walked by. Nice truck. I think it's perfect for her. Totally. Bad. Ass. Want one.

What else. Went right to sleep last night and didn't get outta bed until after 2, the Green Lake walk really was a bit exhausting. COuldn't get back to sleep though, so I needed assistance. But then I slept until 4:45 so it was okay. Had another really good workout. I went over to the HUB to eat my bagels, and then went to see Dennis at the alcohol place. Not really helpful except in terms of the paper. I went to the library after that and finished up the one report, just to do so in quiet and get it done. Nice to be in Suzzallo again. I took the 65 back and got home at around 11:20, taped up some of the basement, ate lunch, and then went to Cascadia. Took my batch o' beer over.

When I got back, around 2, I started painting the basement ceiling and didn't get done until after 4. I always think it will go quicker than it does, at least that ceiling. I guess it's just a large space. I also went up the landing, and that looks nice with a white ceiling. I was exhausted when I was done. It was warm today as well, 85 or so. Probably the last 80+ day this year,but maybe not.

Then we went for a walk, etc. 

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

26 August 2014 (Tuesday)

On this day in 1952 (Tuesday):
Carl came down about 7:00 this morning and we went pear picking at a new place got 52 boxes today. Carl ate with us down at Grandma's this evening. He came up home with [unk unk] I practiced about a[sic] hour. Dad went to church at the Fairgrounds tonight.
Mona dies on Pretty Little Liars! Oh noes!

Well, on TV death is only the beginning. . . . .or the setup for a comeback later.

I had a decent day. Slept until the alarm. Had a good workout and talked a bit with a Wisconsin chick. Then I came home, went to Cascadia and did nothing archaeological. I drove Janet down to Wallingford to pick up Randall's bad phone at some place, and we took the scenic route back. Stopped and got lunch at Safeway. I left there about 12:45 and stopped at Sam's Club, popped home, and then went to UVil for a smoothie at SBux (truly gorgeous sorority girl there, really quite pretty), then got some more ceiling paint at the Sherwin-Williams. When I got home I finished taping the ceiling areas and removed the stuff from the walls. Looked okay. Couple little oopses here and there, nothing major.

We did a walk around Green Lake for some group called Engineers Without Borders through Boeing. Ate at the Wallingford Taco Time for dinner beforehand. Really nice walk, loads of eye candy for me, and it was warm and sunny. I'm guessing this might be the last of the 80s this week.

So really not a bad day. I didn't feel much of a downer. Planning on painting the ceiling tomorrow sometime. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

25 August 2014 (Monday)

On this day in 1952 (Monday):
Carl came down this morning about 7:00 and we went pear picking this morning. I got 40 boxes again today. Played a couple [sodas] at the Front Street Mission tonight and then drove around town for a while afterwards. Dad went with me tonight. Gas $.50. Spent $.50.
Today should have been a good day. And it was, for the most part I guess. I slept very well, all the way to the alarm clock. Had an AWESOME workout. Went to Cascadia. Then it started a bit downhill. Wasn't much to do there, although I was okay with that as I had various things to do, but still. . .it means I'm not making hardly any money. So I went for lunch at NGate, then did a little more there, then went to the audio place to pick up my speaker. About $38 for the fix, just the crossover. Sounds great. They will also consign sell these things so I'm taking the other pair in to see if they'd sell them and what I should do, if anything, to make them better. Might need to refinish.

But I spent most of the rest of the afternoon not doing much. Was looking forward to seeing Mary at the dentist but she didn't seem interested in chatting. So that was kind of a bummer. So I dunno, I ended up feeling kind of useless by the end of the day. 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

24 August 2014 (Sunday)

On this day in 1952 (Sunday):
Went to Sunday School and church with Carl this morning, After dinner I went to the show with Lee Roy to the Avenue. $.50. Went to church down at the Fairgrounds tonight. Spent $.50.
Slept decently again last night, till 4:30. I watched the second 2/3 or so of two movies, the second was Top Secret!, perhaps one of my favorite comedy movies ever. I've probably mentioned it here before. The other was another Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright flick, World's End. Pretty good. I would guess they're probably the best comedy movie makers these days. And all before 7 a.m.!

Ate breakfast in, and I went to Mass. Fr. Oliver is still out so we had the old Michigan Italian there still, and he's okay. Well, more lively anyway. I'm glad I went. On the way there I was really wondering about even the concept of right and wrong. The thought, perhaps not original to me, had occurred to me that 'there is no right and wrong, only interests'. Maybe from reading Dune too much. But really, unless you believe in some divine order of things, where does 'right' and 'wrong' even come from? It all comes down to who has the most power to enforce their notion of right and wrong which almost invariably is to their benefit. I was thinking of that during Mass. He also went on about 'having a chat with Jesus' as a form of prayer. Ive always thought that sort of thing seemed a bit one-sided to me. Leastways, I've never heard an answer that I could really 'chat' with and wonder how I'd know who (if someone besides my own head) would be doing the responding anyway. But I have a couple of times imagined myself -- in one of my night panics -- sitting down in a room with God/deity/whatever and having Him say straight out "What do you want from me?", which sort of clarified what I was really looking for. So who knows, maybe I'll try it.

Chatting, that is.

At any rate, I read some this morning, and then we went to an estate sale on Cap Hill; old, old house, smelly and run down, full of glassware and knick-knacks. Nothing I really wanted, but it was interesting to see all that stuff and be in such an old house. We ate at McD's for lunch -- jalapeno burger! -- and then did the shopping thing at UVil. After that, we hit the City Peoples for some painting supplies, B&R for an ice cream, and then another sale we saw on the way. Nothing there either.

I painted when we got back. Was ready for just a half hour or so, but then realized we hadn't finished taping, so we did that, and then I painted. Took two albums! Van Halen's IInd and then Suzanne Vega's Solitude Standing. The one I felt like for summer and the 1970s and the other for summer and the late 1980s. Looks nice. Am going to try to paint the ceilings this week sometime.

Walked up to post office. Lola the neighbor dog got shorn almost down to the skin as she had hundreds of things in her fur. She looks so small now! Cute though.

What else. Nuthin. 

Saturday, August 23, 2014

23 August 2014 (Saturday)

On this day in 1952 (Saturday):
Didn't feel very good this morning so I stayed home in bed this morning. Called up Barbara this morning and she went off and said some things that sort of hurt. Mowed my lawn today. Took at bath and down at Grandma's this evening. At about nine I went to work out at the [bay] [shot]. They had a big fight out there tonight. Pop $.10. Spent $.10.
Sheesh, another fight with Barbara. . . .

I slept okay last night, until 4:30. So, not bad. We went out for breakfast and I had a hot dog. I dunno, just felt like something different. When we got back we finished taping (with what tape we had left) and then I primed stuff. Then I read my Dune book out on the steps. . .then came in and finished it downstairs. It's the second to last in the overall series (Hunters of Dune) and there's one more for the 'future' part of the series (the others go back in history). Tomorrow I'll start reading a WWI book I got some time ago.

We went to a small estate sale up up 75th but they had nothing except for some. . . Dahlquist DQ10s! Not for sale though. I think they're the first ones I've ever actually seen. Had lunch at NGate and then went to a movie! Guardians of the Universe. Fun movie. Formulaic, obviously, but fun. It's one of the Marvel (comics) series. And I didn't have to get up and use the bathroom! I'm awful about that, mostly because I really drink a lot. When we have a movie to go to I have to consciously stop drinking well beforehand.

So when we came back (12:50 showing) I watered a bit, made leftover for dinner, and then walked. So a decent Saturday. 

Friday, August 22, 2014

22 August 2014 (Friday)

On this day in 1952 (Friday):
Started picking pears about 7:00 this morning. Drove back into town and dis a [lawn] of mine. Didn't do much pick[sic] in the afternoon. Took Barbara to a [fire] show at the Fairgrounds this evening. Spent $1.00.
Yes, Barbara's back. Again. I swear, if these two didn't end up getting married I'm sure Hell would be getting colder by now.

So anyway, missed yesterday. My brother was in town this week and he texted me around 3 and said he'd be free for the evening. So he met us here at home and we went out to the Rainin' Ribs place for dinner, ate like pigs, I felt awful, drove around a bit, and then took him to the airport for a redeye home. Nice seeing him. Apparently, he's going through the same anxiety stuff I am, which is really good to know; it's not just me that's defective. He calls his night panics 'the Demons'. Heh.

Anyhoo, yesterday: Hmmmm. Think I had a decent workout and slept well. . . .went to Cascadia in the morning for a while, finished up the one report, left before lunch, ate ramen at home, taped some of the basement for painting, went to Assumption and dropped off some stuff, went to UVil for dinner stuff, came home and then did the Jeff stuff. Slept very badly after that, probably because I tried going right to bed after I got home from the airport. But my stomach felt cruddy and it actually felt pretty bad today, too. Once I got to sleep I slept okay, albeit on the floor the entire night, but until 5. Had a good workout. Came home and futzed around, then took the bus downtown, stopping in the U District to get a mocha and ready for my noon meeting with Michael. . .which urned out to be next Friday. Meh.I made some good progress on the paper, and think I have what we need. I chatted with Daisy a bit about alcohol, and that was helpful.

I met Christine -- she got me in at GH at first, and a couple times afterwards -- down at the Convention Center where she's at an HPV meeting. We had lunch down there and talked a lot; very helpful. I think I'm going to mostly concentrate on actually doing something with HPV/cervical cancer because I have experience (and more importantly, one publication as primary author) and there's already projects in place. And leave alcohol on the back burner to develop more.

After that I went and talked with Jenny at HRA about stuff in general and maybe doing some projects with them. Probably not going to happen, all they'd probably have are monitoring jobs, but you never know. Keeping the communication lines open.

The Spousal Unit had her interview yesterday, thought she was going to find out about it today, but didn't and is feeling down about it.

We walked at NGate this evening, as I wanted to be out somewhere where there were people. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

20 August 2014 (Wednesday)

On this day in 1952 (Wednesday):
Started picking pears this morning about 7:00. Picked 47 boxes today. Ate supper at Grandma's and then went to church at the Fairgrounds. Went in Ted's car. We picked up Carl on the way and took him [down] after I got home. I had to go back down to Grandma's to get my lunch for in the morning. Got to bed about 11:15.
I'd wager very few young people work picking fruit in the summer anymore; probably all done by migrant workers.

Odd day today. Slept okay. Daisy brought the neon squirrel tail to the bedroom sometime last night and had to tell us all about it; that's when I got out of bed for the TV room. Went back to sleep okay. I don't know if I took any ambien last night or not, but I don't think so. Anyway, really good workout.

Came home, ate bagels, went to shop. I was the only one there! Until about 11:00 when Meg showed up. Got most of the Tuesday survey's report done. I ate lunch there (leftover pizza) and left around 1. I stopped by Lowe's and got a new shovel (same one) and then went to UVil to cash my check and sit for a bit. When I got home. . . .what did I do? Practiced geetar. I redid my fingering for the G chord and mostly just practiced that. Made dinner. Walked.

We watched the movie The Lovely Bones, too, instead of news. Neat movie. At first, the ending(ish) seemed unsatisfying but after thinking about it, I'm more positively inclined. Doubt I'll read the book, but it has stuck with me, which is a good thing for a movie to do. 

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

19 August 2014 (Tuesday)

On this day in 1952 (Tuesday):
Got up at 5:30 this morning and went [plum] picking with Ted and his dad. Worked until 5:00. Ted went down and bought himself a little hot rod today after we got off from work. I picked 43 boxes today. We are getting 12 cents per box. Ate at Grandma's and then went to church down at the fairgrounds. Offering $.25 Phone $.10 Spent $.35.
Another long day on San Juan. Couldn't find my shovel this morning, don't know where its got to. I got a cruddy one from Cascadia. Slept badly last night, mainly worried about work, etc. Had trouble just getting to sleep. Trip up was okay, the work was, meh. The dirt was really hard and compact and the shovel sucked, but all but one were shallow. Still was tough to dig in.

Finished about 1 and then went to South Beach. I may have been able to catch the earlier ferry but I forgot and probably wouldn't have gotten on anyway; they were loading a lot of cars from the overflow lot on our boat. Walked around Friday Harbor for a while, got my dinner at the deli, my famous BLT+sauerkraut. Tried to take a nap on the boat but didn't manage to, but I wasn't sleepy on the way home anyway. My right contact was all gummed up part of the way though. Still is at the moment.

Just want to sleep tonight. . . . .

Monday, August 18, 2014

18 August 2014 (Monday)

On this day in 1952 (Monday):
Spent most of the morning working on my rock saw. Went to the doctor this afternoon to get my nose booked at. about[sic] 7:30 I went to the drive-in with Earl [Cosso]. $.65 Got him about 10:30. Candy $.20. Spent $.85.
Kind of an odd day. Slept okay. Workout went great, although nearly all guys there this morning for some reason. Went downtown for meetings. Met with Michael, Dennis, and someone else about their alcohol plans for Kenya and it seems like anything big happening there is a ways off. And it looks like most potential grants are out of my reach. The K's require one to have an appointment already, and it seems like most of the others do as well, usually that means some sort of post-doc position. So in essence, getting my own money to do my own research took a big hit today. Actually Michael was pretty. . . busy. . .with my paper. I think he likes to change a lot of stuff and make lots of suggestions just to be doing something mentor-ish. So I'll make them (some ideas were good) and then probably end up keeping it mostly the same.

Going up to San Juan tomorrow. Other times I might have tried to put it off, but by that time (early afternoon) I was so wigged out with this stuff I just wanted to get away. I'm not all bummed out really, in fact it's almost kind of a relief that I don't have to forge my way into grant-writing, but it's obviously a setback. And a setback of my own making, if I'm honest. Yes, if I'd decided on this much earlier I'd be in a better position to be doing something worthwhile. But, that's the way things go.

Read something on the Robin Williams suicide today regarding what real depression is like:
Your muddy thinking starts to get a little obsessive: you remember every bad breakup — and blame yourself. You remember every time you did something dumb or hurt someone’s feelings, and the shame is as fresh as if it just happened. And — especially the first time it happens — you begin to think it will never improve, you’ll never be better, that the obsessive thoughts that you’re worthless and a burden to everyone are true.

Ergh. That part, at least describes a lot of what I was (and still are) doing. I've often wondered if I slipped into some kind of minor depression. I don't have the other physical symptoms he described, save for sleeping badly, but who knows, maybe all the working out I do kept that stuff at bay. 

Sunday, August 17, 2014

17 August 2014 (Sunday)

On this day in 1952 (Sunday):
Went to Sunday School and church with Carl this morning. Ate dinner at Grandma's and about 2:00 I went and Carl and I worked down at the Fairgrounds fixing up the stage for tonight. Pick up Carl about 7:00 and went to the Crusade For Christ meeting at the Fairgrounds. Picked up dad from the church when it was over and got home about 10:00. Practiecd my Sax and Clarinet for about and[sic] hour and a half. Pop $.10 offering $.10 Spent $.20.
I guess he's not a Mormon.

I slept well again last night, until 5. Spousal Unit slept in again until 7. We went out for breakfast at McD's. Put together the bathroom (mostly) before showering right away. Looks pretty good. May need to replace the fan and light though. That was much of the morning, putting the bathroom back together and cleaning some. Watched TV from about 10:30 to 11:30, some NASCAR racing.

Did the usual shopping at UVil, getting kind of tired of the same two lunch places. There's only like three that aren't sit-down, and one is a frou-frou vegetarian place that doesn't have a proper soda fountain, just a bunch of (expensive) junk.

When we got home I went out back for some sun and reading, although it;s getting later in the summer so my sun was limited by shadows. Did some other chores afterwards. I made some beef teriyaki skewers for dinner. Meh. We walked up the Calvary as it was a nice evening and we'd had a fairly heavy dinner. I always get somewhat moved/melancholy/whatever being up there. Always a reminder of what lies ahead for all of us. Especially those who were born, lived, and died well before I was even born. What were their lives like? Did they look at even earlier headstone and think the same thing as I do? 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

16 August 2014 (Saturday)

On this day in 1952 (Saturday):
Went to work with dad this morning. Took my car to a garage to get the motor rebuilt. Came home after dinner and mowed my lawn. Slept the rest of the afternoon until supper time. Ate at Grandma's. Went to work at about 8:30 as usual. Pop $.10. Spent $.10.
I don't remember him mentioning going to work as usual on Saturday nights. Odd.

Slept oddly last night. Ended up on the floor for the second half, I think. Kept waking up. Well, that's usual, but it seemed like I did so more often last night. But it was all unassisted so that's good. Spousal Unit didn't get up until almost 7, or maybe a bit later. We just ate oatmeal for breakfast, mostly because by that time I was really hungry and was well rested so I couldn't eat a lot anyway.

I started right away cleaning the bathroom walls and taping it up and taking down some of the hardware and junk for painting. We went to Alderwood clothes shopping for the Spousal Unit (nothing). We went to an estate sale over in Montlake afterwards. Wow. What a great house. A big old Spanish style one, lots of rooms, lots of levels and lots of neat stuff. Nothing I wanted to buy, but. . .well, scratch that, a couple things I wanted to buy but didn't, including an actual pith helmet and an "Executive First Aid Kit" which was a large leather case with two spaces for booze bottles. Heh. I liked 'em but they would have just taken up space. So, we. . .well, the Spousal Unit got a couple of Boeing safety things from the 1940s, I think.

Stopped at Sherwin-Williams paint on the way back and got another gallon, and when we got home (2:30-ish) I started painting the bathroom. At first I thought I'd goofed and gotten the wrong color because it looked the same! I was thinking I was getting the yellow we'd put downstairs. Turned out I was right anyway, and it's a soft butter yellow in there now. I was kind of sloppy because I figured it was the same color anyway, so I'm going to have to make some touch-ups later. But it looks nice. Took a little over an hour.

We went back to NGate this evening (more shopping) and I mostly walked around the mall some.

Pretty sunny today, 78 or so. 

Friday, August 15, 2014

15 August 2014 (Friday)

On this day in 1952 (Friday):
First thing this morning I went and mowed the neighbor's lawn and stayed home until noon. Helped dad at the church the most part of the afternoon. Went to a party with Carl Crow. Got home about 11:30. $.25 party. Spent $.25.
So anyway, I woke up at 3:45 and was ticked. Happily, I went back to sleep until 4:45. Go me. Workout started slow but halfway through I was rockin'. Good workout. I came home, ate bagels, went to Cascadia. Did nothing work-wise, I just worked on the small grant app, mostly getting my transcripts, and updating my CV. And started a bit on the two pages of the written material. SO I think I'm on track to submit it. Go me.

Stayed there until a little before noon, at lunch at NGate, came home and did some more work on the grant app. And tried fixing the one speaker. It's something in the switch or the crossover, as the tweeter doesn't work at all; sometimes the switch works in one position or two but not another which could just be a contact issue. I dropped it at Hawthorne on Roosevelt for fixing. I'm looking forward to putting those in my room here. Must find something to do with the others. Although people say they sound awesome stacked, but I don't have room for that.

Fiddled with guitar for a while this afternoon before starting dinner.

The national news media is doing their usual horrid job of covering a police shooting in Missouri. I'd call them incompetent but they're really just hacks.

What else. . . .nothing much. Rained a bunch this morning. Started out in shorts as they said it would get sunny this afternoon but it didn't so I changed into jeans Harumph. 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

14 August 2014 (Thursday)

On this day in 1952 (Thursday):
Went down to church with dad this morning but spent most of the day looking for a new motor for my car. Spent most of the night just driving around town. Got in about midnight. Pop candy $.15. Spent $.15.
Perhaps a significant day. I slept okay, thankfully, really decently until 4:45. SO I had a really good leg workout although now even the leg press is down. When I got home I scarfed down the bagels and then went to the shop and did only a couple of things until 11:30. Went to McD's for lunch and had a double jalapeƱo cheeseburger yuuummmmmmm. Marge was there, but it was so crowded I didn't notice her until she was leaving. Once I got home I went through my field equipment and got rid of some of it, packed the rest in the filing cabinet. And put up some of my wall things -- PhD and Master's certs, etc. All went up okay, and even got my two masks hung. The one has never ever been on a wall in all the time I've had it, probably 30 years. I lemon Pledged it first and it looked a lot better. So, most stuff is back in. Now I just need to clean off the desk and keep it that way.

So later on I started looking at grant stuff and was getting discouraged, although I finally found a suitable K-grant for me. But I also re-looked at another one and I think I'm going to go for it. I need probably 5 pages describing my career goals and research project, plus some other stuff and I think I can get it in by August 29. Not a big one, but if I get it, it's money. I was pretty pleased with that, and immediately felt better, knowing I had a specific, doable goal for the next couple of weeks. So that was a good thing, and I'll have something positive to talk to Michael and Dennis about Monday, hopefully with some of it written. And Christine is back in town next week, too, which makes me happy.

Walked at NGate and I got a 5-pack of wife-beaters for $20. 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

13 August 2014 (Wednesday)

On this day in 1952 (Wednesday):
Went down to the church and helped dad most of the day today. Found out that the bearings in my Plymouth are burned out and the crank shaft [flatened] so we spent some time today looking for a new motor. Got a new pair of glasses today. About 7:00 I went with Lee Roy down to the Y.W.C.A. to listen to a dance band practice until about 10:30. Spent $.05.
I had a somewhat strange day. I slept okay Woke up in the middle of the night and it was raining heavily, which really sent me back to sleep in a hurry (in the TV room). I must have woken up again around 4 and it was still raining. Stayed in bed and, well, prayed, but my mind kept wandering. Probably would have gone back to sleep, given some more time.

I headed to Bellevue and 520 monitoring, stopping at QFC for a mocha and a donut, the latter was a day old. Got there and they hadn't shown up yet, so I went over to check the area and found that the stream had broken through and was gushing where it wasn't supposed to be gushing. "That can't be good" I thought. And I was right, they showed up and told me they weren't going to do any excavating. So I came back home, changed into workout clothes and went to the IMA, parking at UVil. Decent workout. I talked a bit more to the Fitness Model, but I'm not sure. . . .well, I'm glad I did, but I won't say anything else except maybe a Hi from now on, unless she initiates it. Seems like she's not interested in conversation with anyone, or maybe just me, who knows. But I'm glad I did.

I drove right over to Cascadia and finished up what I could on the report. I finished that a little before noon, had lunch at NGate, came home. I dropped some stuff off at the church, and then went to UVil for a hot chocolate, and got a couple items for dinner. Came home, blah blah blah. Went for a walk.

On a related note, Robin Williams killed himself a couple days ago, very sad. Apparently suffered from depression. Here's something I wrote. . . .errrm, elsewhere:

For what it’s worth, I’ve spent some time in a dark place — thankfully not to that serious extent — and I think I have at least some understanding of his motivation. While I never — ever — even vaguely contemplated suicide, occasionally in those darker moments I did allow myself to ponder the question. . . .what if I could just *stop*? Stop this existence. Stop the suffering, stop the anxiety, stop the *darkness*. . . and just shuffle off, very quietly, this mortal coil as if I had never been. Perhaps Mr. Williams was thinking something similar, maybe for his whole life. For my part, and that’s a thing that many, many people simply don’t understand, a certain serenity accompanies such thoughts. 

As for me, I’m going to believe that, in those final few moments, Robin Williams finally found, and now enjoys, the peace that had so eluded him in life.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

12 August 2014 (Tuesday)

On this day in 1952 (Tuesday):
Helped dad down at the church most of the day. Mowed our lawn and Grandma's lawn today. Went to the show about 7:00. Went to the [unk] $.40 got out of the show about 10:30 but drove around town a little while before I came home. Spent $.40.
Interesting day. Couldn't get to sleep again and went to the TV room, and then I woke up at 3:20 or so. I gambled and took 1/4 ambien and it paid off: I went back to sleep! So today wasn't too bad, rest-wise. Got out the door right after 6 to go to the 520/405 area for monitoring. Got there way too early, too, but it was. . .boring. They're just digging a stream channel mostly in recent fill, but hitting some glacial junk, the clayey stuff I've seen before. No real chance of finding anything, but the guy did pull up an old (late '60s-early '70s) hub cap for me. Otherwise, pretty dull. Rained a little bit. There's a big blob of rain headed our way but it hasn't hit yet and I'm hoping it doesn't dissipate before getting here.

Anyway, worked there until 1:40 and then came home, did some more cleanup, and I think my room is almost back to better-than-normal. Put a bunch of books and junk downstairs so my shelves are less cluttered. Altogether a nicer room.

We went to UVil as I had to cash a check and got some potato salad for lunch tomorrow (back to 520).

I found a photo of myself last weekend, me with my old Buick, in a Hawaiian shirt. Happily, someone wrote the date on the back August 1987. I think that was my first trip back home after field school and 1st year of grad school. Yes? Hmmm. Doesn't make sense. I didn't think I came back then. Oh well. That must have been the year that I drove back with only a Mobil gas card and like $120 in cash, thinking I'd use the cash for motels and food and the card for gas. Little did I know there were no Mobil stations between WA and Minnesota. Slept in my car two nights, and rolled into Minnesota on fumes and little cash, and bought food at a Mobil store. Yeesh. And here I am these days getting all worked up over things many times less bad than that! 

Monday, August 11, 2014

11 August 2014 (Monday)

On this day in 1952 (Monday):
Went down and brought Gradnma up here the first thing this morning. Dad and I spent the most of the day working on my Plymouth. Couldn't find what was wrong so took it down to [Hoon Mather] Company about 5:15. Went down to the Fairgrounds and helped put up some benches for a meeting they are going to have. Had a flat tire before [I] got home this evening. 
He hadn't been talking about "his" car for a while so I was wondering if it had something really wrong with it. I think it's only a few years old so it's just another example that cars before the '70s weren't nearly as reliable as people like to think.

I had trouble getting to sleep last night but then slept well. Had a very good workout. All the sorority girls were there this morning. Was d-a-i-d said by the time I finished, but ran for 10-15 minutes anyway. I came home and ate my bagels and then went straight to Cascadia and got to work on that report. CanNOT find the Lackey folder or files. Had a heck of a time getting a report formatted. I made the mistake of using one of Jana's old ones and she formats things way differently so it kept doing bizarre things. Me and Janet drove to QFC and I got a soda for lnch and I stayed there until 2:15ish. Am going to 520 tomorrow.

Warm today, high of 96 I think, but didn't feel that bad. I made dinner all on the grill and then we went to UVil for bagels, and I got a jasmine plant for the back trellis and a little plastic box for field junk in the back of the car.

I went down to one chamomile yesterday and maybe it worked. I wonder if that stuff has kind of a limited time of effectiveness and then wears off or something.

Supposedly thunderstorms tomorrow. Hope so! 

Sunday, August 10, 2014

10 August 2014 (Sunday)

On this day in 1952 (Sunday):
Didn't go to Sunday School this morning but went to church. Barbara broke up with me today. Took Wanda to the show this afternoon. Went to the Capitol $2.00 [Lakes]. Had a big storm which took out trees and flooded everything. All the electric went out while we were in the show. Went to [Jerry Daples] meeting and church this evening. Just a [ute] home with [dom] more. Spent $2.50.
Enough with Barbara already! Dump her ass! Don't see her again!

I woke up at 3:45 this morning and didn't think I'd go back to sleep but I did, however barely. I slept for a while anyway and woke up at 5. Even if it was only 15 minutes, that always helps. I went to Mass because of that. Saw a chick from the gym there, too, but she didn't say anything.

I went through my books this morning after getting back and sorted them into several piles, and am trying to put as few as possible on my bookshelf. It just seems neater without as many. I'll certainly put some of the binders and junk somewhere else. Probably on a shelf in the basement.

We did the usual UVil thing, ate lunch outside. Nothing much exciting there. When we got home a little after 2 I went in the back and sunned myself for a while, hopefully most of the tan lines will be gone by tomorrow. Made brats for dinner with the last of my first batch o' beer. Walked. I'm watering this evening. About 87 today so I am running the AC as well.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

9 August 2014 (Saturday)

On this day in 1952 (Saturday):
Cleaned out the coal bin the first thing this morning and then went to work with dad down to the church until noon. After we ate we came home and cleaned some in the garage and then started working on my Plymouth. Went up to see Barbara about 5:30 before I went to work at the [Gig Shot Toi] as doorman. Drove up the [unk] a [unk] time after work. Pop $.10. Spent $.10.
So anyway, had a big ol' anxiety attack in the middle of the night. Sheesh. Here;s now this one went: I was dreaming of some friends' parents buying them, I dunno, a gym or something like that, and was wondering how nice it was that someone had that kind of money (it was like $175k) to buy their kids something like that, and then I woke up and immediately panicked because OH MY GOD I HAVEN'T BEEN THAT SUCCESSFUL AND I'M 52 AND STILL PIDDLING AROUND FOR WORK. It was an intense one, tellyawhat. I ended up sleeping on the floor the rest of the night. Why the floor, you may ask? Change of scenery, I think. Attempting to go back to sleep in some new area makes me maybe forget about what's going on in my head? Something like that anyway. On the bright side, I slept until almost 5:30.

Had breakfast in and immediately started working on my room, taking the tape down, cleaning, putting everything back again. I've decluttered some and between that and the new paint it looks very nice in here. Still have stuff to bring back in but I'm going to try to store much of it. That took up most of the morning and I still have some to go. I almost feel like leaving the walls mostly bare, too. I like unclutteredness.

Went to hair cutting (Spousal Unit only) and ate at Pagliaccis. We went to an estate sale near us after that, went home quick, and then went to UVil for dinner groceries and yogurt. The Spousal Unit tried some Indian sort of dish and it was a big fail. I really couldn't even eat it. So it all went out. Then we bent a couple of implements trying to cut the dessert thing she made Friday. Not a good weekend for trying new things!

Going to try to clean my desk off a lot as well. Not tonight though. I should water some, too.

What else. . . . .Long walk this evening. Sunny, 81. 

Friday, August 8, 2014

8 August 2014 (Friday)

On this day in 1952 (Friday):
Went down to the church to help dad this morning. Also did the neighbor's lawn this morning. Ate dinner at Grandma's. Went back and heaped [him] [unk] this afternoon. Came home a little early and I did a little work on the car. At almost 8:00 some of the kids and I went driving until around 11:30. We just went around town. Gas $1.00. Spent $1.00.
Sleep, blessed sleep! Slept until 5 this morning and through the night. Apparently I got out of bed at 1:30 and I think I woke up only once after that. Felt great. Workout started slow but then I had a lot of energy and had a good one. Fitness Model didn't say hello. =( But I came home and ate my bagels and then painted in my room, first coat. Didn't go well. I dunno, just kept making mistakes, got paint on my non-painting shorts, etc. Turned out okay though. Then I went to Cascadia and got the proposal done with and sent out. What else. Did some work on another project report. Stayed there until around 11:40 and then came home. We didn't do well for lunch, left at noon, tried a Taco Time in Wallingford but no parking, drove up to NGate instead. When we came home I worked on the report some more and around 3:00 I put on the second coat. This time it went better. So the room is all done, painting-wise anyway. Looks very good, I like the color and it brightens things up. Turned out I didn't even need another gallon, so I have a whole gallon of this stuff left.

We walked at NGate, just because I wanted to. Just for fun.

Up and down day, mood wise. Started out feeling very crappy about everything, but I've since come up some. I can barely remember what my epiphany was earlier this week, I'm going to look it up . . . .

Odd, now that I read it it seems really lame. Well, maybe this whole thing is kind of lame. Should I spice it up some? I guess I could lie about my life and make future people think I was really an exciting guy. I'll have to think about that. Then again, I rather like the mundanity of this guy's diary entries, it gives one more insight into What Life Was Really Like back in 1952.

Can't wait to get my room back in order. 

Thursday, August 7, 2014

7 August 2014 (Thursday)

On this day in 1952 (Thursday):
I mowed the law the first thing this morning and then put the second coat of paint on the bedroom ceiling. This afternoon I went to the show with Lee Roy at the [avenue]. $.25. Drove up by Barbara's while dad was at program meeting. Got home about 9:30. Barbara and [Una] call me up about 10:45 and talked and played records over the phone for about 45 mins. Spent $.25.
Hey, I can finally say "I went to the show"! The Imelda May concert was very good. Mostly. Got there in plenty of time, beautiful old theater, hold about 900, probably 7-750 were there. We sat up in the balcony. I would have gone down to the floor. They had an opening act which was more of a loud punk band (Black Mambas) which I didn't care for and probably wasn't the best choice for them. That wasted over an hour. But she was excellent, as was the band. It was a treat not to have them too loud and just classy people playing their instruments well. Good show all around. $20/ticket so a really good deal, too. I'll go back there; it's close, a good venue, and not too pricey.

Got home around 11:00 or thereabouts. I went right to sleep probably about 11:45 and didn't wake up until around 5, so I was tired but not unbearably so. Well worth it.

Otherwise today I had a really good workout, came home and scarfed down bagels, went to Cascadia. Worked there until 11:15 and came home, we went for lunch at McD's, worked a bit more at home, then we went to UVil for a snack, stopped and got more paint, came home, and taped things up. I was going to put on the first coat, but decided I wanted to do them both tomorrow so I could just wrap the roller in plastic.

For some reason, the eye candy at UVil was stunning and abundant.

Futzed with guitar quite a bit this afternoon. I'm starting to become reasonably adept at most fingering although they're still not the best chords ever, but my fingers are starting to find their own way. 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

6 August 2014 (Wednesday)

On this day in 1952 (Wednesday):
Stayed at home all morning until noon. Went down to Grandma's for dinner and after dinner went back down to the church with dad for the afternoon. When we got home this evening we painted the bedroom ceiling. Went[sic] I got done I took the car and drove around town a little bit.
I didn't do an entry yesterday because we had our block party/Night Out and I neglected to do this beforehand. Yesterday was okay, slept well, had a good workout, went to Cascadia for most of the day, got a couple projects going. Night Out was okay, though sparsely populated compared to earlier years. Might have been the Jewish holiday, whatever it was. Talked mostly with one guy about the bike crap they're doing; of course, while we were bitching about it a stupid biker came riding down the CLOSED STREET and almost ran into three of us. Lola the dog was there, and well behaved, too. She liked being out with all the people.

Last night I slept great. . . until about 2:45. Couldn't get back to sleep. Just all wired up about. . .really nothing, but probably subconsciously about the concert tonight. Yeah, anxiety again. Although yesterday I was really not wanting to go for some reason. May have started with my 'epiphany' last weekend (or whenever), and maybe I didn't need something like this anymore. But I started looking forward to it today, probably the nervous part is the new venue which is close by (U District, Neptune Theater) but we've never been there before. I hope it works out okay, I'd love to see a lot of shows there as it's so close.

Anyway, I had a really good workout anyway, went to NJB. I was in Michael's office and I think someone else was planning on using it because she looked in and then a couple other people came by and looked in. I probably should have moved, but I was too tired. Well, I should have just used my carrell. Anyway, I made a few changes to my paper and sent it off. Looked over the K-grant stuff and I think I'm not qualified for it. Said you have to have a full time appointment at your institution, which I don't. But we'll see. I eft a little before 11:30 and took the shuttle back to campus and had lunch at Pagliacci's. Walked to UVil, got a prescription, and waited for it at SBux. And then walked home.

I mostly sorted out my bookshelves in my room, prior to moving them and painting. I'm thinking of putting many of my books into a closet or something and leaving the shelves clean with only a few items on them, as it makes the room look way less cluttery. We'll see.

Spousal Unit was late getting home, so I made a warmed-over dinner. The show we're seeing is Imelda May, an Irish lass who sings rockabilly/blues sorta stuff. She has a really great voice and singe quick clever songs and really nice slow ones. Will report back tomorrow.

Monday, August 4, 2014

2 August 2014 (Saturday)

Note: This one didn't get published for a couple of days.

On this day in 1952 (Saturday):
Went down to the church this morning and help dad until noon. Ate at Grandma's and then came home and painted the kitchen ceiling. At 5:00 I went back to Grandma's and took a bath and ate supper. About 7:30 I took the car and drove out to [Shateland] and around town and up by Barbara's place. Got in by 10:30 and got to bed [quick].
I had a productive day, all things considered. If I'd thought that maybe my epiphany yesterday would translate into better sleep I was, pun intended, rudely awakened last night. Around 2 I woke up again and started. . .well, not worrying but my mind was going a hundred miles an hour. I decided to read (no ambien this time) and the iPad was at 6%, so I went to the other room and got the charger. Read some of "On Prayer and The Contemplative Life" by Thomas Aquinas, which didn't do a whole lot since I don't remember anything I read. Laid on the floor again but only drifted to sleep before waking up again, so I moved to the couch again and finally dozed off until 5. Internals felt awful, probably last night's fish. 

We went out for breakfast. The Spousal Unit started cleaning the basement and I attempted to use the spray-on texture for the walls, but botched it at first, spraying the screen door in the back, making a bit of a mess with the test area above the garage door and was so irritated I threw the can out. hen I read about the other methods of texturing and they all seemed a lot more involved so I dug the can out of the trash and had another go at it. Worked pretty well. I won't know until I paint it, but it looks okay so far. Then I diddled around until we went for lunch (Arby's by NGate), stopped at Ace and bought paint and supplies -- I got a tropical greenish blue for my room -- hit an estate sale (3 CDs) and then home, before going to the ice cream store and UVil parking garage roof to watch Blue Angels a bit. 

When we got home I piddled around and then primed the drywalled/textured sections in my room and some parts of the bathroom. I may or may not paint tomorrow, might wait until Monday. Watched a dumb TV movie, so predictable and schlocky (Hallmark Movie Channel) but I got kind of choked up. Decently long walk. 

It actually rained a few times today, thunderstorms were rolling through most of the day. What a nice change. Not a whole lot of rain but enough for the grass that I won't water it until the end of the week. It was nice to have a warm rain for a change. Even last week's, as nice and welcome as it was, was cool. 

4 August 2014 (Monday)

On this day in 1952 (Monday):
Didn't feel very good when I got up this morning. Got up and ate breakfast and went back to bed until 2:30. I then got up and helped dad paint the kitchen. I also went [away] with some of the boys to look at some old cars. Drove up and saw Barbara tonight. Drove up and down the avenue for a while and just talked for a while. Gas $1.50. Spent $1.50.
Busy day today. I slept okay, woke up in the middle of the night and started to have an anxiety attack but managed it fairly well by just running words through my head. I did go down on the floor again though, that helps. So I slept pretty well, until almost 5.

Workout was really great. Sorority chicks checked me out again. Wish they'd at least say Hi or something. I mean, I like the eyeball attention but I'd rather chat with some people. Anyway, came home, scarfed down bagels, and then painted the two walls. Went okay. It looks really nice. It's actually close to a tiffany blue. Much brighter. I call it my happy color.

The patches turned out well, too, as did the spray-on texture. So I'm glad I went back and had a go with it, and I'll use it again.

When that was done I went to Cascadia, getting there around 10. Had an email from one client saying they'll go ahead with an excavation permit and monitoring proposal so I started putting those together, and also a couple other cost estimates Teresa forwarded to me. I sat in Jana's room for the first time. I like it in there, I will enjoy going in and staying longer. Had lunch there.

Left there around 1:15 or 1:30 and came home and put the second coat on. Fiddled around some after that, mostly paying Jack some attention. I'd put pork ribs in the crock this morning and those turned out well. After dinner we went up to UVil QFC to get some fruit for tomorrow's street thing; making funeral fruit salad again, using the blueberries the neighbors brought over.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

3 August 2014 (Sunday)

On this day in 1952 (Sunday):
Didn't go to Sunday school this morning but went to church. Ate dinner at Grandma's and then came home and sat around for a while talking to Lee Roy. Went with Lee Roy down by Wapato to see a plane [exhibit]. When we got back we went to a show $.55 saw about half the show then I went to evening service with Barbara. [Unk] to walk home after church. [Offering] $.20 [Oil] $.10 Spent $.75.
I know the numbers don't add up.

Odd night. I stayed in the bed longer than usual although the Spousal Unit got up once to. . answer the phone. Or listen to it ring or something. Once at 11 and once at midnight. Neighbors across the street calling to tell us the light was on in our garage. Nice that they're looking out for us, but cold do without the late calls. They sent over some more vegetables they'd picked later in the day.

But anyway, I slept okay. Enough to go to Mass. Fr. Oliver wasn't there, stand-in was so-so. When I got home I taped up my room so I can paint tomorrow morning. I plan on doing the south and east walls, maybe one coat in the morning and one in the afternoon so that will be done tomorrow. Then I'll move everything over to that side and do there other two walls later. Hopefully this week, but depends on how much fieldwork I do.

We did the usual UVil thing. Nothing much exciting there. This afternoon I spent an hour-ish out in the back doing a little sunbathing to get rid of some tan lines. Pretty warm out, like 88 today. Did the usual Sunday chores after that, dinner was leftovers, walked down 39th to past 55th for our walk.

Still doing okay. Prayed to keep this attitude at Mass this morning, but it's been sitting very well. 

Friday, August 1, 2014

1 August 2014 (Friday)

On this day in 1952 (Friday):
First thing this morning I mowed the neighbor's lawn. I then walked down to the church and helped dad. Drove from there up to see Barbara about 3:00. After supper at Grandma's I came home and mowed our own lawn. About 8:30 I drove back down to the church to help dad clean up after a wedding. Just after the wedding was over the lights went out and we got nothing done. 
Today was a. . .good day? Let's start with overnight: It could have been bad. I woke up around 1:45 during a bad dream. Without going into details, it had to do -- at the time I was waking up -- with me in a large room with some sort of gun and some other Good Guys having to shoot a bunch of cats and also shoot a bunch of Bad Guys that were also going to shoot us. Suffice it to say, even without the cats it was going to suck because I was surrounded by a bunch of Bad Guys and facing certain doom. That's when I woke up breathing hard, etc. And then I started having a massive sort of anxiety attack, this time centered on my having stayed in school for so long just to keep that at bay and having such a hard time after that; you know, the usual stuff I've been describing here. Well, I took 1/4 of an ambien and then I actually laid down on the floor and really admitted that I had stayed in school for that reason and was probably still trying to hang on to that somehow. Usually in these middle of the night things I'll acknowledge that what I'm feeling is way overblown, but last night I felt that it was really correct: that I've been sort of hanging onto school (staying connected with the UW, etc.) and that school sort of attitude and that it was a problem with making a career and living since.

And then I had something of an epiphany: I told myself "It's okay. . . .you can leave that alone and start concentrating on non-school things from now on. It's okay. It's okay to do that." And I finally really felt that, well, that it was okay now. And I prayed hard to keep that.

I slept on the floor most of the rest of the night, including a cat-scan by someone sniffing at my back probably around 3. I eventually went back up to the couch for a while. But I woke up to the alarm and felt. . .okay.

On the way to the gym the radio station played the first minute or two of MTV's original broadcast on August 1, 1981 and that brought back more memories, especially of that time back around 1983 or so when I wen through a similar epiphany and decided I could concentrate on school. So perhaps in way it's come full circle, though it took, what, 33 years. I felt okay today; I can move on now. Perhaps seeing Laurie again helped things along; perhaps I just needed time to settle in. But. . . it's okay now.

He says. . . .

Anyway, had a great workout, except 2.3 of the way through I sort of bombed again. Came home, ate, did a little work, contractors came and finished. I diddled around some after they left around 10 and then went to Cascadia. Only Teresa was there, though Mike came in a bit later. We talked some and I'm going to start coming in more often and if there's nothing to do I'll work on my grant there. But I should be able to do more work than I've been doing, including doing cost estimates.

I went to NGate for lunch and then came home, cleaned up my room a bit, then went to UVil for a smoothie (and scenery, obviously). It was pleasant. Also exchanged the coins and got the bears some more bonito flakes. We went to Target tonight for our walk because I was out of contact lens stuff.

Sprinkled a bit this afternoon, I was hoping for thunderstorms but they missed us.